I spent first weekend of November walking the streets of dc,
littered with democracy,
looking for some piece of me i feared wouldn’t be
without first experiencing the kind of isolation you feel in a city of moral desolation –
a place where there’s no recreating the fakes behind the name plates
that because they dedicate tax dollars to late memories of leaders
rather than teachers

and i could see it it all left people with collars –
living haunted in the shadows of founding fathers
and even though i wanted that city to be clarifying it was nothing but terrifying:
–
the eyes of big brother constantly watching – covered and undercover
discovering our weak spots to play on like cheap slots

but i never wanted to think freedoms were bought
that the haves and have nots aren’t segregated so much as just separated
in what’s not a melting pot so much as a pressure cooker of what could’ve beens
among the marble facades of titans long gone we can’t even call on anymore

and yet
i thought for sure there’s hope here – a way to cope here
standing at the feet of Lincoln and Jefferson feeling what they said echo
like the sounds of what we’ve yet to let go of in this ever after built atop of disaster

but
i really should detract from the matter and first explain
my disdain for this inhumane political game is more than being a jaded millennial full of optimism –

because then you’d miss my blue collar roots of family rooted
in service to country, that fought for what it could be and was raised to praise lives who gave their names as a way to say there’s a better way than this

– which is why i’ll never forget what my father said –
“son, the past can happen again but
then again you must understand you have a choice
between uing your voice or being white noise”
so in times like this
I’m well aware of what I care about enough to speak out
against living under an Orwellian gravity of
divisions I couldn’t see because i was too busy
looking for greener grass on the other side –
just like on on november eighth when I stayed awake through the twilight
till first light because I wasn’t sure what the world would look like
in the light of what I’d seen in DC

and now I feel the need to come clean and admit how terrified I feel inside to know my brother will have to find words to confide in his son –
to somehow explain what’s been done to lady liberty
who he serves and is now being served –

that from henceforth in this world words are more than sticks and stones –
they’re cushions for thrones to hold the guilty softly and lofty so we see what what won’t be

yet somehow

most see this democracy as an epitome of what can be
when all I see is a city living in captivity as the
microcosm of what’s causing the pain –
placing blame on the outskirtst as if the worst of us aren’t of this earth

But
by the start of twenty-seventeen America’s Coch yoke has given birth to
something even worse
the real few and proud – the dominantly white one percent
using policy like crowd control to sentence dissent to death –

and i can hear compassions last breath like a gasp while I try to grasp
why entertainment is only aimed at the mind to buy our free time
but somehow 90s TV has become our daily reality
and
truthfully sometimes i get too lost in my own mind
trying to decide if writing is the same as fighting
or if words shed enough light on the fact i only feel safe only because I’m white
– that isn’t right

the truth of the matter is that sadly it took those days in DC for me to finally understand it’s not about this democracy bleeding colors of autocracy –

it’s about the hypocrisy in being raised around those willing to die for a flag raised so high that the pledge of allegiance has become like bleaching –
and has whitewashed the common causes with patriotism
to deflect white reality like a prism – as if racism isn’t a decision –
but we’re all witness to the fact altruism can’t be masked in fascism just to fool the system

So now I see it will take a nation with vision to confront the dogmatisms of our divisions

and to refuse to be imprisoned by an electoral decision – realize that what we idealized can be actualized only if humanity isn’t delegitimized or dehumanized –
but deserves to treated as if it were prophesized to be the great compromise
as seen through this generation’s eyes

I reflect on weekend in DC and the start of twenty-seventeen
and see there’s no more excuses – that words, rhymes, and having a helluva time is like kicking the bucket downhill for the sake of feeling the thrill of participation –
but really, this should my dedication to doing what it takes for us
all to sing of emancipation –
to love above all else and be a light to someone else other than ourselves

 

TM Colin Corpe 2018.